Barack Obama is the boyfriend you FOMO’d and can’t get back
Dear America,
Don’t feel bad. We’ve all done it. We’ve all had that significant other that was cool but we kept wondering if there something else just a little bit better out there? That “good” man or woman that was rock solid but you just couldn’t help but wonder “what if?” FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is real. Even when you have a bird in the hand, you think there’s an exotic peacock in the bush you just wanna holla at for a second. So you toss away the good thing you had and find out what’s REALLY out there in the streetz. How is that working out for you? FOMO got you like:
Umm. Hmmm. You should feel bad, America. You had the hottest guy in the game wearing your chain (h/t to Jay-Z) and you thought you were gonna upgrade. Instead, we went backwards. Way backwards. And it sucks. In fact it stings. Every time we see a pic of Obeezy out there living his best life, we’re happy for him but still feel that pinch… we had it and we let it go.
Remind me America, what was so bad about the America Obama created? The good far outweighed the bad. I mean you went from a dude that might leave the seat up every now and again to a dude that shits all over everything.
Remember the nerve of Obeezy to put his feet up on the desk in the Oval Office? (Even though it was his desk and he earned the right and… never mind) Yeah, that seems like halcyon days in comparison to folks straddling sofas in the Oval Office or rumors that Le Donald is running around placing his naked butt cheeks on heirlooms. (Literally buck ass naked on the Jefferson chaise or some such nonsense. Just ugh!)
All that indignation that Obama spent too much money going to Hawaii? Hmmm, not like he was flying questionable folks into Florida at $50k a pop to stay at a Drumpf owned resort?
All that uproar about the Obamas flying off to New York for date night? As opposed to paying $700k a week so the new First Lady ain’t got to see her bloated-ass husband every night?
Remember when they called Obama elitist because he liked arugula? Now you got a dude who can’t spell arugula. They said Obama was too much rock star not enough substance. Now we got a guy who tweets out repugnant thoughts at 2:00am? Even those “give Drumpf a chance” folks are dismayed by the lack of civil discourse, the overwhelming entitlement and the flagrant ignorance oozing out of the West Wing. Check out highlights from this weekend’s impeachment demonstrations. Yes, impeachment demonstrations:
I’m afraid you can’t get your boyfriend back, America. But let’s do what we can to kick this one out of the house and next time? DO BETTER.
The Presidential Medal of Freedom is the Nation’s highest civilian honor, presented to individuals who have made especially meritorious contributions to the security or national interests of the United States, to world peace, or to cultural or other significant public or private endeavors. The awards were presented at the White House on November 22nd.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is the National Basketball Association’s all-time leading scorer who helped lead the Los Angeles Lakers to five championships and the Milwaukee Bucks to another. During his career, Abdul-Jabbar was a six-time NBA Most Valuable Player and a 19-time NBA All-Star. Before joining the NBA, he was a star player at UCLA, leading the Bruins to three consecutive championships. In addition to his legendary basketball career, Abdul-Jabbar has been an outspoken advocate for social justice.
Michael Jordan
Michael Jordan is one of the greatest athletes of all time. Jordan played 15 seasons in the NBA for the Chicago Bulls and Washington Wizards; he is currently a principal owner and chairman of the Charlotte Hornets. During his career, he won six championships, five Most Valuable Player awards, and appeared in 14 All-Star games.
Maya Lin
Maya Lin is an artist and designer who is known for her work in sculpture and landscape art. She designed the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington D.C. and since then has pursued a celebrated career in both art and architecture. A committed environmentalist, Lin is currently working on a multi-sited artwork/memorial, What is Missing? bringing awareness to the planet’s loss of habitat and biodiversity.
Eduardo Padrón
Eduardo Padrón is the President of Miami Dade College (MDC), one of the largest institutions of higher education in the United States. During his more than four decade career, President Padrón has been a national voice for access and inclusion. He has worked to ensure all students have access to high quality, affordable education. He has championed innovative teaching and learning strategies making MDC a national model of excellence.
Diana Ross
Diana Ross has had an iconic career spanning more than 50 years within the entertainment industry in music, film, television, theater, and fashion. Diana Ross is an Academy Award nominee, inductee into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and recipient of the Grammy Awards highest honor, the Lifetime Achievement Award. Ross was a recipient of the 2007 Kennedy Center Honors. Diana Ross’s greatest legacy is her five wonderful children.
Cicely Tyson
Cicely Tyson has performed on the stage, on television, and on the silver screen. She has won two Emmy Awards and a Tony Award, and is known for her performances in Sounder, The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman, and The Help. In 2013, she returned to the stage with The Trip to the Bountiful, and was awarded the Tony Award for best leading actress. Tyson received the Kennedy Center Honors in 2015.
So the USPS accidentally put my neighbor’s mail in my box. I go over and ring the doorbell. She answers it and stares at me.
Before I can say anything she snaps, “I won’t be buying anything today.”
I smile, “Great I’m not selling anything. I’m your neighbor…”
She looks stunned (I’ve been here for two years but okay), “I thought you were the housekeeper.”
Me, “Nope. The mailman gave me your mail. Here you go.”
I hand it to her and walk away she comes running after me. “Oh my God thank you, we’ve been waiting on this check.”
I nod and keep moving and she yells out, “I voted for Hillary.”
Me: Have a blessed day.
Still wondering what privilege is? Cast your eyes to 1600 Penn for the next four years
There are seven stages in grief. Pardon me while I wallow in Anger for quite some time. You see, once again I find that I’ve been hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray by an American populace that I had mistaken for enlightened and forward thinking. Not all of us but at least enough of us to count.
Apparently I missed the memo on the fifty nine million (59!!) who think that a misogynistic megalomaniac with psychotic tendencies would make a nifty leader of the free world.
You know for years I’ve sat in history classes and watched films and documentaries and wondered how in the world a Hitler gets into power. Thanks America, for solving that mystery.
I’m not a radical person. I’m fairly laid back and inclusive. But I’ve experienced the opposite of privilege. I’ve walked into a board room and had people assume I was the admin or the janitor when I was actually there to lead the damn meeting. I’ve had people talk to me on the phone and then be astonished to meet me in person because “I don’t sound black.” I was gracious to the woman a few blocks over who thought it was okay to knock on my door and accuse me (the only person of color in a ten block radius) of kicking over her Drumpf-Wince sign. I’ve had all this and more leveled against me time and time again.
And yet, I try to give people the benefit of doubt. I try not to be bitter when the Caucasian male I trained was given the promotion everyone on the team knew should be mine. I don’t automatically assume privilege is at play when all other logical reasons have been exhausted. I reach deep for my inner Maya Angelou and “still I rise.”
But this shiggity right here? America is so pissed off that an intellectual, charming African-American man not only ran this country but ran it WELL for eight years that THIS is the pivot?!?! This jerk gets in on WHAT merit? List for me the areas where this orange ass clown has excelled that ALSO make him remotely qualified to be president? No, crotch-grabbing the opposite sex doesn’t count. Handing over the country to a man who has done nothing positive in life but be white and breathe is the EPITOME of privilege.
For those of you who hated Hillary, what-the-eff-ever. I didn’t want to skip hand in hand through a field of dandelions with the woman, I just wanted the nuclear codes in the hands of someone who doesn’t let a tweet rattle them at 3:00am. Someone who ISN’T considered a racist pig on a good day. Someone who hasn’t been handed everything in the world on a platinum platter and is pissed when someone is handed a lesser prototype on a paper plate. Someone who doesn’t always think the problem with the country is because of a black or brown person. Someone who can get through a 30 minute presser without raising the blood pressure of half of our allies.
Yeahhhh, I’m going to roll around in anger for more than a minute. It was bad enough when you elected Bush cuz his Daddy was an okay dude and he could slam back a Heineken with the best of them. But this son of a bitch? Really?
To all who thought this would be the change America needs or lazily opted out of voting from some moral high ground - gee thanks. When the Minions of Doom roll back the clock to 1952 and commence the money grabbing, ask yourself:
And know that answer is yes, yes you absolutely did. Make America great? You made us the laughingstock of the world. The punchline to every Ugly American joke ever told. Congrats.
Hi, I'm Michele Grant... writer, talker, thinker. I'm Bougie. I'm Southern. I voted for Obama. Purple is my favorite color. Neo-Soul is my favorite music. Romantic Women's Fiction is my favorite book genre. My blog is here: Black 'n Bougie. My book website is here: Michele Grant. And now you know everything...
